Alright I admit it..... I am a COMIC BOOK GEEK!
like so many other comic geeks I am pretty stoked over this weekends
release of the latest foray into the comic book-movie genre.... "The
For the uninitiated The Avengers are a
Superhero Uber-Group (sort of like the Traveling Wilburys...or maybe
not.) While the line-up has varied, mainstays of the group include the
likes of Captain America, IronMan, The Hulk and Thor.
The mere mention of these characters will evoke very pleasant memories of my youth.
can recall walking back to my apartment in Brooklyn, NY with my
Grandma Jenny after church on Sundays (that probably explains a
lot....the Brooklyn part...not the walking with my Grandma part...) and
stopping at Artie's. Artie's was a real "old-timie" candy store.
she would buy me some penny candies (that actually cost a penny....
and NO, I was not doing Paleo back then...hey, cut me some slack I was
only 6 yrs old!) or an ice cream soda (I was only 6 guys!!) But the
real prize...the "Piece De Resistance" was when she would buy me a
comic book (usually two.... I loved my grandmother!!!)
Artie's had racks and racks of comics from which to choose....but the
choice was an easy one.... I am and have always been a "Marvel Man"!
Back in those days there where two main comic publishers, D.C. and Marvel.
was "old school" and featured such characters as Superman and Batman,
(I did like the Green Lantern a later addition to the D.C.
cast.....very lame movie though!!!)
But it was the
mid-60's and Marvel was in its heyday...with a fresh crop of
heroes...great post-nuclear plots and amazing graphics....YES, I was a
I would live... eat and breath these
characters! Everyday was Halloween as I would put on a costume and
become the Superhero "du jour"!
These characters were my
heroes and I wanted to be one....But alas, at my last self-inventory of
super powers, I sadly realized that I have none!!! While I could not
rid the world of the likes of Magneto or Victor Von Doom...perhaps,
just maybe..possibly..NOOO...why yes...I could still do good! I could
rid the world of grains and legumes! An idea sooooo crazy, it might
And then we could form our own group of
Avengers. A group of cracker-jack scientist, doctors and educators,
whose mission would be to combat against nutritional misinformation and
disinformation. We could call ourselves "The Paleo Pals"!!!
think of it.... Dr. Lorem Cordain could be our Professor Xavier (The
X-Men) and we could put him in one of those "Hoveround" chairs (it
would take him where he wants to go...) drape a fancy blanket over his
legs and he would be all serious and inspirational-like.
Paleo Pals would consist of yours truly (of course), Robb Wolf (the
man has a built in Superhero name), Mark Sisson, Pedro Bastos, Staffan
Lindeberg...(GO AHEAD SUGGEST YOUR OWN PALEO-SUPERHERO.) And of course
we need a female Superhero... so how about Sarah Fragoso!
that we have our heroes...no comic book plot would be complete without
an arch-villain. Our villain could be the diabolical Mehmet Oz!! The
Evil Oz was created in the labs of the mad scientist Dr. Oprah
Winfreistein. Oz had learned to harness the "other worldly powers" of
"Tele-Vision". And with this he would rule the nutritional world!
this awesome power was under his yoke, he turned millions of
unsuspecting citizens into Oz-drones. These zombie-like creatures hung
on the Oz's every word. They would consume massive amounts of soy,
legumes and proverbial "whole grains". They would avoid meat as it was
now poisonous to them!
As their health deteriorates and
they grow increasingly more obese, Oz's strangle-hold over them becomes
In come The Paleo
Pals!!!!...Armed only with science, knowledge and all round good looks
they fend off the Evil Oz's nutritional propaganda!
climatic scene, The Paleo Pals force Oz to "eat from his own trough of
skewed ideas". His intestines immediately start to bloat with
"ginormous" amounts of gas. Quickly he begins to look like that
"blueberry kid" from Willie Wonka. Now a bloated mess, Oz floats away
into the stratosphere, never to be heard from again...(until the
A little over the top??? A little
far-fetched??? Perhaps...Perhaps... but it ain't gonna stop me from
getting a shirt with a big "P" on it!!!!
Until next time......
-Dr. Joe Brasco